your voice

i mean
i dont care
i mean
honestly
i just want to hear your voice
i mean
it doesnt matter what you say
i mean
i dont mean
that it doesnt matter what you say
i mean
that i just want to hear your voice

i mean
i dont care
i mean
the words arent important
i mean
its the sound...
 ...the resonance...
  ...the lo-fi crackle of radio waves...
   ...the buzzing in the air...
    ...the humming fan...
     ...the deep sleep affair...
i mean
        ...youre there
and it soothes me
i mean
in the most selfish way imaginable
it soothes me
i mean
the plunging rush
i mean
the bird peeped early morning rustle
i mean
...beep...beep...beep...beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep...

it soothes me
i need
that hustled peace
i mean
crush me
i mean
whisper dusk deceit
just lull me like a fool
i mean
seep into my skull
and crush me

i mean
i dont care
i mean
honestly
i mean
i just want to hear
your voice
i just want to hear
your voice
i just want to hear
you there
i mean
just talk to me
just talk
as long as i hear you
i dont care
i mean
i dont mean
that i dont care
i mean
i just want to hear your voice

the seasons never change

we were roped in
tokin refer
hopes ramblin
with intangible dreams
you, the free-wheelin gambler
me, heels diggin in

a softness to the spring
made our efforts all the more flowery
we produced the heart stuff
radiated billowy song
from rainbow bellows
to bloom out the sadness
and keep the dark at bay

cuz the seasons never change
and we ll never be cold
or alone again

you can wake me up like thunder
you can kiss me like the rain
you can strike me down like lightning
my love, i swear its all the same

we were enchanted
by dope spells
hexey incantations
motel exorcisms
body fluid baptisms
we drove the pope to tears
made mecca quake
and gave the holy lama wet dreams
resounding passions to the wind
never seeing heavy weather closing in

a rawness to the sting
when winter finally came and came
our loss all the more sorrowful
by hailin insults and frosty blame
and violins now pluck their strings
bass rumble bring the storm clouds in
as risin waves swell between us
and grey skies choke out the last resonatin rays

we ll be
washed ashore someday
all the heartache washed away
we ll hit
another whimsied score
and tap dance madly in the rain
we ll feel
that sun sent warm
and our hearts will burn again

cuz the seasons never change
my love, i swear its all the same

you can wake me up like thunder
you can kiss me like the rain
you can strike me down like lightning
my love, i swear its all the same

losing the battle

losing the battle

she asked

“why do you act like life is a battle?”

i was stuffing necessities in my sack

in preparation for another school day

but that statement made me stop

and think...

the first question was,

do i?

it was instinctual, a defense mechanism. i knew i did, but she was attacking me. so maybe there was no merit to her accusations. but there was. and she was right. i was in the very heart of a battle

the second question was,

why doesnt everyone else?

i had no idea

i said in my head to her,

“because, it feels like theres so much at stake. because, it feels like the obstacles are malicious. because, i dont know what im fighting for or whose interests im benefiting. because, all i see is life murdering itself. because, even though we hide behind civility, a little voice inside me says, ‘these are your enemies’. they smile, and shake your hand, and hold doors for you, but they would club your skull in with a femur bone under the right circumstances. because, i cant even look at a seemingly tranquil scene with butterflies, flowers and bees and not see the turmoil that is the very fabric of reality stretching and straining to keep everything in focus so the dream can feel real. because, i dont want to die. because, i want to win”

...i decided

looking at her glowing eyes and glowing soul

for tactical purposes it was better to keep my thoughts and feelings to myself

she saw butterflies, flowers and bees

and nothing more

i felt the hordes closing in

so i threw on my pack, grabbed her by the hand and said “lets go”

there was the disturbing feeling of seeping worlds and a tightening in our hold

at that moment

i think we both kind of felt sad for each other  

somewhere along the way

somewhere along the way
we changed
it shows up in this reflection
in this screen
straggly old man
projected
who’s eyes are guiltless
about all the things we felt guilty about
we enjoy aloneness
we guiltlessly enjoy aloneness
without even a recognizable reflection
for company

what happened?
well, i could list
a long list
of listlessly affected events
and an even longer list
of listful thoughts
that fought in the war of whether
or not

but, somewhere along the way
laughable and immanent
cards got dealt
cards got shuffled through arcanas
cards got played
through a fools incarnations
through rounds and rounds
and rounds and rounds
till the archetypes displayed
the flip-book smiles
of obliteration.

true lies

i will sell you
the air from my lungs
the nothing i hold in my hand
and the contemplations of a dead and buried man

if you had any sense
you would sell the farm
your stocks, your bonds
your children, your pets
your husband or your wife
along with the deed to your life
you would sell every goddamn thing
to buy the emptiness i bring

i will tell you
the secrets everybody knows
to get the cleanest
you must bathe with worms
to love the sinner
you must love the sin
your fanciest outfit
is your bare-naked skin
i will tell you
only the truest of lies

if you had any sense
you would cut down every tree
and mine the earth to an empty shell
to build a cage from the outside in
you would paint yourself into a corner
you would stay there for the rest of time

you would be the bear
caught in the trap
that the long-gone trapper forgot he set
your only desire
would be never ever getting free

i will sell you
your cell
with a countless-day, money-back guarantee

soul song

i was wandering the streets
like a fool without a plan
i was seeing god in everything
it was more than i could understand

and i tripped on good intentions
and i saw their lord
she said, there’s a limit to my dimensions
but many more than you’ve ignored

and i learned to hold my breath
and i saw their lord
and he looked a lot like death
and all our demons were his hord

and i climbed the highest peak
and i saw their lord
he said, i’m lying when i speak
and i’m out my fucking gourd

and i got down on my knees
and i saw their lord
and he was howling with the rest of us
screaming, wait till you get bored
just wait till you bored
oh, just wait till you get bored

and i opened up my heart
and i saw their lord
she said, you failed from the start
and there’s nothing left to be explored

i was wandering the streets
i felt the full extent of emptiness
like a singer with no soul
like a soul without a song
like a mirror without reflections
alone, to freeze in godless cold

snake bite

i’m a snake
coiled in the grass
yes, i’m a snake
as your barefoot feet run past
and i’m a snake
cold blood pumps through me
yes, i’m a snake
with poison circuitry


and i
feel the same sun
that warms your face
your pretty face


and i
feel the same breeze
that rustles through your hair
and brings your scent to me


and i
fear the same thing
that got your pa
and left him mumbling


and i
fear the same thing
that’s made you blue
and i’d shed one tear for you


but i
can never cry
so i guess
my skin will have to do.